Amber Grill Lights & Fatty Wannabee Syndrome (FWS)

[Slippers_Offroad]

Amber grill lights are a DOT requirement for vehicles 80" or wider.

However, owners who lack this girth including many RR owners are increasingly mounting amber lights to convince people they are girthy. The truth is that this is imaginary girth and an obvious symptom of FWS.

Fortunately, there are several recognized treatments for FWS:

- Portals are the best treatment at this time as they increase girth significantly past 80" and fully demand amber grill lighting. This is the solution that we are about to utilize and will report back on this in March.​

- More controversial and somewhat homeopathic treatments include adding wheel spacers an/or radical rim off-sets, however, these often result in weakened girth rather than the rock-hard girth that true off-roaders seek.​

- The cheapest solution, of course, is to show restraint. Mount amber fog lights and bars for FWS therapy while off-roading but keep things clean on road.​

I hope that this PSA has been useful.

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[FullSend]

F'ing hilarious. It drives me nuts seeing tundras, tacomas, and 4runners with 'Raptor' lights. Gen1 Raptor required to have them for DOT, the aggressive look popularized them, and every non-Raptor started adding them.
I held off as long as I could not adding them to the RR, but I did cave because it just looked off being a Raptor and not having them. I went white though to match the front end and give this baby raptor its own style. Although I did go greater offset wheels and wider tires so think its now wider than 80". Great post man.

 

[Slippers_Offroad]

Ha, Ha, Ha - fortunately, you get the humor and white lights don't count so I can honestly say that you are not afflicted. T-Rex and RAM 1500 RHO also require them and maybe a few more.

While amber lights are definitely an interesting predilection, I wouldn't be surprised to see them outlawed or, someone being sued for causing a swerving accident with amber lights since they impart that a vehicle is extra wide.

I the meantime, its cute to see all this imaginary girth while others of us have no choice to spend the money on amber lights as Jeep drivers on portals have reported being pulled over, forced to tape measure their vehicle on the side of the road and then being issued a ticket while threatened with needing to be towed for lack of amber lights.

 

[DesertRanger760]

As a Skinny Trucks Matter (STM) ambassador, let me just say that we see the FWS epidemic, and we’re not here to judge—just to educate. My skinny XLT doesn’t have amber lights because it doesn’t need to fake girth. Real width isn’t measured by a grill light. It’s measured by what you can actually do. And my XLT? It gets through trails so tight, even mountain bikes are jealous.

Meanwhile, FWS sufferers are out here slapping on amber lights like they’re part of some exclusive wide-truck fraternity, hoping no one notices their imaginary girth. Spoiler alert: we notice. Amber lights on a skinny truck are the equivalent of wearing a fake Rolex—we all know it’s not real, bro.

Instead of chasing width you don’t have, maybe it’s time to embrace the precision of slim dominance. My XLT moves through the world with a confidence that no portal or spacer can replicate. Skinny is efficient. Skinny is agile. Skinny is king.

So to the amber-lighters: Just own your width—real or imagined. But don’t expect me to flash you a thumbs-up when I pass by in my sleek, unbothered rig. I’ll be too busy navigating trails you can’t even fit into.

#SkinnyTrucksMatter #SayNoToFakeWidth #RealTrucksDontNeedAmber

 

[Slippers_Offroad]

DesertRanger760 mic drop.

 

[Roverhound]

They make them for Subaru's too. Some dude came up with it and calls it "Her Necklace". How gay is that?

 

[Dracena]

Meanwhile, FWS sufferers are out here slapping on amber lights like they’re part of some exclusive wide-truck fraternity, hoping no one notices their imaginary girth. Spoiler alert: we notice. Amber lights on a skinny truck are the equivalent of wearing a fake Rolex—we all know it’s not real, bro.

An F150 Raptor driver with his markers off, pulled up to my RR with markers (on during daylight of course), and proceeded to point accusingly at me. I noticed his peasantry Omega and raised my arm sporting my 116500LN black Daytona and pointed accusingly back at him. Our wives made eye contact with each other and simply shook their heads in disapproval. It was only this morning for the first time in my life, that I realized that getting positive attention and lots of sex from my wife, is better than trying to impress other guys, especially those on the internet.

I also made a mental note to re-install the market lights connected to the battery, so there is zero chance they can ever be off (especially during daylight hours).

 

[John B]

Oh hell.... You all have better wit than me. But I'll insist that with the Ford mudflaps, I'm now barely over the magic 80". Prove me wrong

 

[Dracena]

Oh hell.... You all have better wit than me. But I'll insist that with the Ford mudflaps, I'm now barely over the magic 80". Prove me wrong

We RR owners just need to bust out our Manly Man Ruler, the one that starts 1" 3" 5" 6" 7" 8" (...) and magically adds 2" to everything we measure.

 

[Justin_Glen]

Amber grill lights are a DOT requirement for vehicles 80" or wider.

However, owners who lack this girth including many RR owners are increasingly mounting amber lights to convince people they are girthy. The truth is that this is imaginary girth and an obvious symptom of FWS.

Fortunately, there are several recognized treatments for FWS:

- Portals are the best treatment at this time as they increase girth significantly past 80" and fully demand amber grill lighting. This is the solution that we are about to utilize and will report back on this in March.​

- More controversial and somewhat homeopathic treatments include adding wheel spacers an/or radical rim off-sets, however, these often result in weakened girth rather than the rock-hard girth that true off-roaders seek.​

- The cheapest solution, of course, is to show restraint. Mount amber fog lights and bars for FWS therapy while off-roading but keep things clean on road.​

I hope that this PSA has been useful.

Mate, you have way too much time on your hands , anyway.... at the foot of my email, check the sponsor.

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